MUZZIE CHUCKLE NEWS!!!
I have decided to do a little work on my blog to make it both more enjoyable and more informative!!
As you can see I have already added some new graphics which I think you should all like.
I will be changing my format and the name of my blog also.
So as changes occur...please do enjoy!!
And keep coming back!!!!
So while I work on my blog.......Below are some things I thought you might enjoy!!!!
*******************************************
From our reporter on the ground in Suadi Arabia!!!
Abdullah killame Ifukmigoat
Muslim offence level downgraded to "Condition Yellow"
I can now officially report that the MOL (Muslim Offense Level) has been downgraded to "Condition Yellow", meaning "Elevated".
To quote the official wording, we have moved from:
HIGH...Meaning --- We are extremely offended by a particular individual or country
NON-MUSLIM RESPONSE --- That individual or country must apologize
CONSEQUENCE OF NON-COMPLIANCE --- Individual; Fatwa, assassination, or both. Country; Boycott (unless you export things the Saudi Royal Family are consumers of), and Saudi newspapers write a long string of boring and repetitive articles that you will never read but will drive Saudi readers to distraction.
....and are now on....
ELEVATED.....Meaning --- We are definitely cross, because people keep blaming us for 9/11, Parisian cars getting torched, Saudi women getting stoned
NON-MUSLIM RESPONSE --- Pretend that these things have nothing to do with Islam or Muslims, tell everyone how we brought algebra to 9th Century Spain
CONSEQUENCE OF NON-COMPLIANCE --- We will cause even more mayhem. Did you leave your car out in the street?
So we're no longer Very Angry, but we're still Awfully Grumpy. You rile us at your peril. However, for the moment, you clowns are safe.
How can we be sure that the MOL level is reduced? Well, the number of articles in the "Saudi Gazette" and "Arab News" has now more or less trickled to a halt.
And not because of the refinery attack, either. Even though that happened last Friday, we only got around to reporting that on Sunday.
Because Well, Friday is our day off, like your Sunday, so we wouldn't report anything then.
Saturday we come in to work late, and then spend the day asking everybody how their weekend was, and then go home early, so not much gets reported.
By Sunday, someone had seen the report on CNN, so we started to cover it, and that was the first that the ordinary Saudi newspaper reader heard about their oil refinery being attacked.
===============================
This from our reporter on the ground in baghdad!!!
Amir "Cookie" Cockroachallah
Staying alive in post-war Iraq For DUMMIES...Instructions - in 2 versions
My dear friends, I have just received this wonderful guide that should help us all keep our heads, no pun intended, during this stressful time in Iraq. So get out your pencils and paper and copy this down!
For Iraqis;
1. NEVER EVER go out when IT’S DARK; preferably lock yourself in after 6 p.m.
2. NEVER EVER stop to give help of ANYKIND to ANYONE you do not know, and even then, be careful.
3. ALWAYS give American Hummers the right of way, unless you want to be rammed or turn to Swiss-cheese.
For Non-Iraqis;
1. AVOID coming to Iraq in the first place. If not possible, then:
2. NEVER trust Iraqis, we are a scheming, profiteering, xenophobic lot, and we’d love nothing more than to gain a few hundred thousand dollars from an "Ajnabi" (Foreigner).
==================================
From our eye in the sky reporter!!!
Mohammad Killthejews Iwannanuke
Athens Greece: Arguing men put on seperate flights
An Orthodox Christian and a Muslim man who were travelling to Germany were forcibly put on separate flights after they began fighting over their religious beliefs at the international airport here, reports said on Thursday.
The men, bound for a flight to Frankfurt, began arguing on the bus as they were being transferred from the terminal to the plane.
According to reports, the two men started fighting over who was the more religious of the two when the Muslim man, fed up with being attacked, suddenly exclaimed that he was going to blow up everyone on the plane.
Well, in this reporters opinion, that certainly proves that he was the more religious of the two.
As you can see I have already added some new graphics which I think you should all like.
I will be changing my format and the name of my blog also.
So as changes occur...please do enjoy!!
And keep coming back!!!!
So while I work on my blog.......Below are some things I thought you might enjoy!!!!
*******************************************
From our reporter on the ground in Suadi Arabia!!!
Abdullah killame Ifukmigoat
Muslim offence level downgraded to "Condition Yellow"
I can now officially report that the MOL (Muslim Offense Level) has been downgraded to "Condition Yellow", meaning "Elevated".
To quote the official wording, we have moved from:
HIGH...Meaning --- We are extremely offended by a particular individual or country
NON-MUSLIM RESPONSE --- That individual or country must apologize
CONSEQUENCE OF NON-COMPLIANCE --- Individual; Fatwa, assassination, or both. Country; Boycott (unless you export things the Saudi Royal Family are consumers of), and Saudi newspapers write a long string of boring and repetitive articles that you will never read but will drive Saudi readers to distraction.
....and are now on....
ELEVATED.....Meaning --- We are definitely cross, because people keep blaming us for 9/11, Parisian cars getting torched, Saudi women getting stoned
NON-MUSLIM RESPONSE --- Pretend that these things have nothing to do with Islam or Muslims, tell everyone how we brought algebra to 9th Century Spain
CONSEQUENCE OF NON-COMPLIANCE --- We will cause even more mayhem. Did you leave your car out in the street?
So we're no longer Very Angry, but we're still Awfully Grumpy. You rile us at your peril. However, for the moment, you clowns are safe.
How can we be sure that the MOL level is reduced? Well, the number of articles in the "Saudi Gazette" and "Arab News" has now more or less trickled to a halt.
And not because of the refinery attack, either. Even though that happened last Friday, we only got around to reporting that on Sunday.
Because Well, Friday is our day off, like your Sunday, so we wouldn't report anything then.
Saturday we come in to work late, and then spend the day asking everybody how their weekend was, and then go home early, so not much gets reported.
By Sunday, someone had seen the report on CNN, so we started to cover it, and that was the first that the ordinary Saudi newspaper reader heard about their oil refinery being attacked.
===============================
This from our reporter on the ground in baghdad!!!
Amir "Cookie" Cockroachallah
Staying alive in post-war Iraq For DUMMIES...Instructions - in 2 versions
My dear friends, I have just received this wonderful guide that should help us all keep our heads, no pun intended, during this stressful time in Iraq. So get out your pencils and paper and copy this down!
For Iraqis;
1. NEVER EVER go out when IT’S DARK; preferably lock yourself in after 6 p.m.
2. NEVER EVER stop to give help of ANYKIND to ANYONE you do not know, and even then, be careful.
3. ALWAYS give American Hummers the right of way, unless you want to be rammed or turn to Swiss-cheese.
For Non-Iraqis;
1. AVOID coming to Iraq in the first place. If not possible, then:
2. NEVER trust Iraqis, we are a scheming, profiteering, xenophobic lot, and we’d love nothing more than to gain a few hundred thousand dollars from an "Ajnabi" (Foreigner).
==================================
From our eye in the sky reporter!!!
Mohammad Killthejews Iwannanuke
Athens Greece: Arguing men put on seperate flights
An Orthodox Christian and a Muslim man who were travelling to Germany were forcibly put on separate flights after they began fighting over their religious beliefs at the international airport here, reports said on Thursday.
The men, bound for a flight to Frankfurt, began arguing on the bus as they were being transferred from the terminal to the plane.
According to reports, the two men started fighting over who was the more religious of the two when the Muslim man, fed up with being attacked, suddenly exclaimed that he was going to blow up everyone on the plane.
Well, in this reporters opinion, that certainly proves that he was the more religious of the two.
posted by loki at 8:00 PM
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